Sometimes I'm ashamed

Sometimes I'm ashamed of the Big Cats. They make us do things we don't want to do like come inside at night. They only give us food at certain times of the day. They insist we don't barf up our hair balls on the living room floor or kitchen table. I tell you it's just deplorable how they treat us sometimes. Get this, once the Big Cat put a collar on me. A collar with a frikken Bell! Oh the infelinity of it all!

Seriously? A bell?

As you can see I'm not impressed. Not impressed at all. How can any self respecting Tom Cat put up with a collar and especially a collar with a frikken Bell on it! Humph! If the 'He Man Tom Cat Club' ever got wind of that they'd kick me out! Well, lemme tell ya, that collar and bell didn't make it home that night. No sir, no way, no how, nope!

I think the worst indignity I have to suffer at the paws of the Big Cats comes at bed time. I mean, I get there in plenty of time. Usually I'm first or second in the bed. Then the Big Cats show up and try to squish me out! The nerve of them! Do they not understand that I am the Alpha Male in this colony. I am the only bonafide Ring Tailed Tom Cat!

I guess all I can do is bow my head in disgust.  [/rant]